Month / August 2018

by crowfooted

thehumon:

I just found out commercial characters have their own little fandoms and it’s the funniest thing in the world when people make them interact.

I love how The World’s Most Interesting Man (link) and Old Spice Guy (link) are all like “Hell no, I don’t have a feminine side” while Mayhem Guy (link) is out here like “Hell yes I’m a woman! And I just found out that you’ve been cheating on me for two years so now I’m destroying everything you love and I’ll take everything else in the divorce!”

by crowfooted

meridiangrimm:

meridiangrimm:

meridiangrimm:

meridiangrimm:

I want to read a story about a wizard whose only spell is “fix this”, but the specially-crafted magic takes their intent into account.  "Fix this" can mean repairing the wheel on the adventurers’ cart or healing a broken arm or “fixing” a lock so that it’s in what the wizard considers the “correct” (unlocked) position.  Imagine the other mages getting increasingly frustrated as the wizard stubbornly refuses to learn any other spells.

Wizard: *points at a canyon* Fix this

Other casters: That’s not really how spells –

Wizard: Oh look, one of our blankets is now a magic carpet.  Guess we don’t need a bridge.

Casters: How –

Wizard: *points at logs that won’t catch fire* Fix this

Other casters: There’s been too much rain, it won’t –

Wizard:  I fixed it so that it’s in the same state it was yesterday.  Someone here knows how to start a fire, right?

Casters: What –

Wizard: *points at charging dragon*: Fix this

Other casters: THAT’S NOT HOW MAGIC WORKS YOU IDIOT WE’RE GOING TO DIE

Dragon: *coughs* Did you just… cure my intestinal problems?  I’ve been trying to stop breathing fire for weeks, but it just kept spilling out, and every time I tried to ask for help, I burned everything down.  I won’t forget this kindness.

Casters: *ripping their hair out* H O W