Tag / food

by crowfooted

australiansanta:

cryptnextdoor:

plasmalogical:

thanks everyone for taking years off my life with this photoset

@whyisbarrybannedfromthekitchen

when u try heat up a cup of milo during winter and put it in for 10 seconds too long

by crowfooted

solarrift:

pearlitariat:

pearlitariat:

im ready to burn my tongue off and astrally project into the signing of the federalist papers

it’s like. a carbonated oreo. i dont know whats happening in my mouth right now mr jefferson

I’m ready to dip this fucker into some coca cola myself

Okay, so I caved and bought these (even though I currently have almost 2 full boxes of regulars at home that I haven’t been eating *wince*). For anyone who likes Oreos, I definitely recommend giving these a try!

You know those tubs/hot tubs with the super-super-fine bubble jets? It’s kind of like having your tongue/mouth in one of those, lol. Except instead of hot water, it’s Oreo filling! The little pop rocks are all tiny, so you don’t get the occasional big cracks like with standard Pop Rocks; just some light, pleasant fizzing that lingers a bit after the rest of the cookie is gone. :3

They’re fun!

by crowfooted

bonesmakenoise:

theweepingtimelord:

Lembas Bread (Lord of the Rings “authentic” Elvish bread)

Ingredients: 

 2 ½ cups of flour
1 tablespoon of baking powder
¼ teaspoon of salt
½ cup of butter
1/3 cup of brown sugar
1 teaspoon of cinnamon
½ teaspoon honey
2/3 cup of heavy whipping cream
½ teaspoon of vanilla

Directions:

Preheat oven to 425F. Mix the flour, baking powder and salt into a large bowl. Add the butter and mix with a well till fine granules (easiest way is with an electric mixer). Then add the sugar and cinnamon, and mix them thoroughly.

Finally add the cream, honey, and vanilla and stir them in with a fork until a nice, thick dough forms.

Roll the dough out about ½ in thickness. Cut out 3-inch squares and transfer the dough to a cookie sheet.Criss-cross each square from corner-to-corner with a knife, lightly (not cutting through the dough).

Bake for about 12 minutes or more (depending on the thickness of the bread) until it is set and lightly golden.

***Let cool completely before eating, this bread tastes better room temperature and dry. Also for more flavor you can add more cinnamon or other spices***

as someone who has baked these A LOT

They are REALLY GOOD

and I am reblogging this because I KEEP LOSING MY RECIPE 

by crowfooted

kankris-precious-booty:

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

fuckingrecipes:

foxyplaydate:

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS LISTEN UP.

YOU SEE THAT SHIT UP THERE THAT’S FUCKING CHOCOLATE LAVA CAKE

DO YOU WANT TO MAKE A CAKE COVERED IN HOT GOOEY CHOCOLATE FROSTING IN LESS THAN 15 MINUTES? 

THE CORRECT ANSWER IS A VIKING WAR CRY AS YOU CHARGE INTO BATTLE.

STEP 1: COMPLETE A VIRGIN SACRIFICE. (SATAN MUST BE PRESENT BECAUSE THIS CAKE IS SO DELICIOUS IT’S PROBABLY A SIN.)

STEP 2: PREPARE GENERIC BOX CAKE RECIPE ACCORDING TO BOX DIRECTIONS. BACK TO THE CLASSICS MOTHERFUCKER. MIX USING THE SPINE OF YOUR ENEMIES. 

STEP 3: POUR INTO A LARGE MICROWAVESAFE CONTAINER (LARGER THE BETTER, BUT IT NEEDS TO BE DEEPER THAN THE MARIANAS TRENCH FOR OPTIMAL LAVA)

STEP 4: TAKE A SMALL TUB OF GENERIC FROSTING FROM YOUR LOCAL SUPERMARKET OF SIN. SWIPE A MACHETE AROUND THE INSIDE OF THE TUB LOOSENING THE WHOLE TUB FROM THE SIDES AND PLOP INTO MIDDLE OF YOUR CAKE BATTER. DO NOT MIX. 


STEP 5: PUT INTO MICROWAVE FOR EIGHT MINUTES AND SET THE TABLE USING CHINA YOU RAIDED FROM WEAKER VILLAGES. 

STEP 6: REMOVE FROM MICROWAVE AND LET SIT FOR ABOUT THIRTY SECONDS. THIS IS BEST SERVED MOLTEN LAVA HOT ACCENTUATED WITH THE TASTE OF BLISTERS ON YOUR TONGUE. 

STEP 7: GET A SERVING DISH WITH A LIP THAT CURVES UPWARD SO LAVA DOES NOT OVERFLOW AND PLACE UPSIDE DOWN ON TOP OF CAKE AND FLIP OVER.

STEP 8: LIFT SLOWLY, COOKED CAKE WILL SIT ON PLATE AND LIQUID FROSTING WILL SPILL OVER SIDES. 

STEP 9: CELEBRATE WITH VICTORY SEX. 

STEP 10: EAT. 

IF YOU’RE ONE OF THOSE GORGEOUS FUCKERS WHO DON’T ACTUALLY LIKE SEX, YOU CAN SUBSTITUTE WITH AGGRESSIVE CUDDLING OR NEON-COLORED POST-IT NOTES FULL OF ADMIRATION FOR SOMEONE’S EXISTENCE. 

did fuckingrecipes just equalize this post for the asexual population gallifrey bless fuckingrecipes