Tag / haha yes

by crowfooted

The different fanfic eras explained as lunch

twocatstailoring:

roachpatrol:

berlynn-wohl:

Pre-internet era: You walk into a room and sit down at a table. Someone brings you a turkey sandwich, a bag of potato chips, and a soda. Perhaps you are a vegetarian, or gluten-free. Doesn’t matter; you get a turkey sandwich, a bag of potato chips, and a soda.

Usenet era: You walk into a room and sit down to your turkey sandwich, a bag of potato chips, and a soda. Someone tells you that over at the University they are also serving BLTs, pizza, coffee, and beer.

Web 1.0 (aka The Great Schism): You walk into a room. The room is lined with 50 unmarked doors. Someone tells you, “We have enough food to feed you and a hundred more…but we’ve scattered it behind these fifty doors. Good luck!”

Web 2.0 (present): You walk into a room. Someone points at the buffet and says, “Enjoy!” You turn to see a 100-foot-long buffet table, piled high with every kind of food imaginable. To be fair, some of the food is durian, head cheese, and chilled monkey brains, but that’s cool, some people are into those…and trust me, they are even more psyched to be here than you are.

Tumblr (a hell pit): You try to serve yourself a baked potato. An angry child runs up and slaps the plate out of your hand. “NIGHTSHADE PLANTS ARE POISONOUS,” the child yells. You are hungry. The child gives you a turkey sandwich, a bag of potato chips, and a kick on the shin.

The fact that a potato is replaced with a different form of potato is what makes that last one so accurate.

by crowfooted

How to seduce the mbti types in 3 easy steps

entpshit:

ISFJ

  • invite them over to help you with whatever 
  • be understanding if they refuse, try again some other time
  • build up trust

ESFP

  • meet them at a party
  • get yourself wasted
  • tell them to watch you then do something super embarrassing

ISTP

  • “The american school system is whack”
  • Drive off into the night
  • Sarcasm is the language of true love

ISFP

  • become a hipster boy
  • take pictures around them with a vintage camera
  • serenade them with a ukelele

ENTJ

  • do something cooperative (ex. a videogame, escape the room)
  • let them assert dominance and micromanage you
  • enjoy it you kinky fuck

INFP

  • “Are you 42?”
  • “No I’m [insert age].”
  • “Really? Cause you’re my answer to my life, my universe, and my everything.”

ESFJ

  • love them
  • treasure them
  • don’t forget to get them a gift every mother’s day

ISTJ

  • suggest you make each other a daily schedule
  • make a to-do list and put only your name under it
  • congrats you just got a s/o and better time management

ESTP 

  • Say hello 
  • Compliment them 
  • And whoops you’re both naked already dear lord 

INFJ

  • find one
  • if you find one then fucking treasure their unicorn ass
  • always text back you ungrateful fuck

ESTJ

  • were you a nerd in high school? (ofc you are you’re reading about mbti)
  • did you get straight A’s? (if not, forge them)
  • invite them out to a fancy dinner and nonchalantly slide your report card across the table to them

ENFJ

  • Be a Good boy
  • Be a Bad boy
  • ??? Be a half good half bad half boy ???

INTP

  • lean in
  • closer
  • sensually whisper into their ear the periodic table of elements song

ENFP

  • 4 words; bring
  • Club Penguin
  • back

INTJ

  • handcuff them to you
  • this is the only way
  • tHIS IS THE ONLY WaY

ENTP

  •  accept the fact that they’ll wake you up at 3am to ask if you think frogs can ever love
  • take a deep breath and accept it
  • alright can I have your number