theoldgods:

#OHHHH GODDDD  #TEACH ME CRITICAL THEORY  #SEND ME A TERSE EMAIL SUGGESTING I MAKE AN APPOINTMENT DURING UR OFFICE HOURS  #MMMMMM YES TELL ME MY WRITING IS ACCEPTABLE ON A SENTENCE LEVEL BUT LACKS ANYTHING RESEMBLING STRUCTURAL UNDERPINNING  #TAKE YOUR GLASSES OFF WEARILY WHILE I YAMMER ON  #ABOUT HOW THE BADNESS OF MY BAD PAPER IS REFLECTIVE OF THE FEMALE TRANSGRESSIVENESS WHICH IS ITS SUBJECT MATTER  #SIGH VERY SOFTLY  #REACH FOR AN ANTIQUE METAL PILLBOX FULL OF ASPIRINS  #WAIT FOR ME TO TRAIL OFF  #THEN PATIENTLY WALK ME THROUGH HOW TO CONSTRUCT AN ARGUMENT  #I DON’T LEARN ANYTHING  #GIVE ME A B MINUS  #GOD  #YES  #RIGHT THERE  #HARDER!!!!!!!!!! (via sashayed)

Okay, so I’m /actually/ about to write a porn fic to AO3, and I’m interested in knowing what the difference is between the M rating and E rating. Able to enlighten me?

humanbeanisnotamused:

fira211:

amemait:

redscudery:

onethousandhurrahs:

anarfea:

tinsnip:

Mature is ‘and then they made love.’ Explicit is ‘and here’s how they did it exactly.’

To wit: mature.

He looked at the envelope, spread out before him.

God, he’d never been this hungry.

Could he be gentle enough? Slow enough? He didn’t want to damage it, didn’t want to do anything he’d regret… but no, no, it seemed the envelope wanted this as much as he did. It slipped into his hands, it folded as he asked. When it was time for more, the card was waiting, and he somehow knew exactly what to do. He moved with his correspondence in a dance as old as the mail system, and when it was over, he was smiling and the envelope was completely, thoroughly sealed.

Explicit:

The envelope waved its flap in the air slowly, gently, and he could see the faint shimmer of the adhesive traced along its fold. It was like a taunt, a dare: won’t you? And he would, oh, God, he would, lifting the envelope firmly to his lips, licking slowly at first, then faster, more firmly, tasting the envelope’s essence, the faint bitterness, the sweetness to follow—

Oh, he couldn’t help but smile at how it felt in his hands. It was so perfectly folded. Its paper was rough against his fingers, and its crossed folds shifted slightly as it opened for his eager tongue. Yes, yes…

Now the card, and his hand trembled as he lifted it, as he held the envelope, stretching it wide. Would it fit? Oh… oh, yes, it would fit, it slid in smooth and quick and filled the envelope to bursting, oh, made for each other, and he smiled in delight at how perfect it was.

He was ready. Now, now, now: with one swift movement he folded the flap over and he pressed, yes, he pressed the flap down and it stuck, God, it stuck perfectly, and he closed his eyes in bliss.

Afterwards, he stroked the envelope, and thought about addresses.

omg THIS MADE MY MORNING.

well, this is something I didn’t know i needed till I had it.

“and thought about addresses” oh my

I never thought I’d say this but it’s too early for this level of porn.

MAIL PORN

why am I blushing over a story about envelopes

MBTI Types – LoTR and The Hobbit Edition

sebstagram:

  • ENTJ: Theoden & Dain
  • INTJ: Elrond & Thranduil
  • ESTJ: Boromir & Gandalf
  • ISTJ: Aragorn & Bard
  • ESFJ: Bilbo. just bilbo u fuck
  • ISFJ: Sam & Legolas
  • ESTP: Gimli & Fili
  • ISTP: Eowyn & Beorn
  • ESFP: Pippin & Kili
  • ISFP: Legolas & Radagast
  • ENFJ: Faramir & Bofur
  • INFJ: Saruman & Balin
  • ENFP: Arwen & Tauriel
  • INFP: Frodo & Galadriel
  • ENTP: Merry & Smaug
  • INTP: Gandalf & Thorin